Szimpla Kert

Close your eyes and think of the coolest bar you’ve ever seen. Multiply that by two. And by two again. You’ve now got a bar about a quarter as cool as Szimpla Kert. Szimpla is the original ruin bar, and despite competition coming from everywhere, it’s still the best, and by far. Despite its relative age, despite being overrun by tourists, and despite the staff being ruder here than anywhere else, Szimpla is the gold standard to which every other ruin bar is held. Clusterf*ck. No word in the English language better articulates what hides behind the vintage doors of this joint. Szimpla might cover an enormous area, but it is full. Every single surface is either scrawled with graffiti, loaded with wall hangings, or jammed full of third- or fourth-hand furniture. Every room has its own feel, although an overarching theme of sensory overload runs through the entire bar. There’s no way you’ll be able to ingest it all in one trip, but happily this is the sort of place that you’ll be aching to get back to. Szimpla is the most pleasurable assault on the senses you’ll ever have.

Budapest has a ton of ruin bars, but I feel like this one is easily the weirdest, and therefore the BEST.